A Transformed Life

Adoption is one way Christians can care for the fatherless. There are certainly other ways, such as child sponsorship, prayer, giving to orphanages, mission trips, financially supporting someone else's adoption, etc. I have read in the book Fields of the Fatherless, that if only 7% of Christians adopted one child, there would effectively be no orphans. Wow! Together, we can be the hands and feet of Christ and make a big dent in the orphan crisis. Adoption changes lives. More than anything else, orphans need a family. We all know that. But to see it in pictures is something else entirely. I read a handful of adoption blogs, but this post just grabbed me. Check this out and prepare to be blessed.

Curriculum Post part 3

I know all you homeschoolers are hanging on the edge of your keyboards for my next homeschool post, so here goes. (hee, hee)

I started a "Blessing Book" with all 4 of my older children. I got the idea from the "Godly Tomatoes" site. Basically, each child has a journal or notebook (my 2 little girls have blank paper stapled together into a book with construction paper covers). I have my kids write in it every day a blessing from the day or about something you are thankful for. My 2 little girls tell me what they want to say and I write it. The goal is to focus on God's blessings (instead of just writing a "journal"), work on composition, and work on grammar, spelling, and punctuation. The kids get to illustrate their page after they write, and the books are so precious to look back on. Kate and Ava are actually starting to recognize some words from doing this.

We like "DRAW WRITE NOW" for writing, too. The kids learn to draw animals step-by-step and then they write about the animal. They enjoy this a lot.

We all like our "I Can Do All Things" art curriculum. It's a 3-year program, so it's very economical. I'm using it with Brooke and Ashton. The curriclum includes drawing, colored pencils, painting, markers, and art appreciation. It's fun and the kids are learning a lot.

What are some of YOUR favorite things to use in your homeschool?

Godly Tomatoes

I found this website called Growing Godly Tomatoes. The mother (who has 10 children) who wrote the book called Growing Godly Tomatoes has put her book online for FREE. All the chapters are off to the left of the website. Just click on the chapter title links and go.

It's a book (online for free) on raising godly children, not just training outward behaviors, but reaching your child's heart. Now, like all resources, you will agree with some of her advice and disagree with parts (I know I did). Implement what you can and feel will work with your child and your situation. I have read it and have implemented many of her discipline strategies and they really work!

One of her strategies is to "tomato stake" your children while they are young and untrained. In other words, your kids who you just know will get into trouble if you leave the room or leave them unattended with other siblings. With these children, the author says to "tomato stake" them. In other words, they are WITH YOU as you are at home, teaching, mothering, doing housework, etc. They are NOT aloud to "go play" in another area of the house where you cannot see or hear them. So they are with you (in the same room) as you are training, correcting, prompting them on what God would want them to be saying/thinking/doing as you go about your day. In other words, you are watching and training your children. Now I do not "tomato stake" nearly as tightly as the author of the book recommends, but I am "loosely" tomato staking so I can prompt my children in how to act and what to say when a conflict arises, and I have seen improvements.

I also love what she says about training toddlers. I have been trying the techniques with Gabe, and WOW! He now lays still for diaper changes and actually listens (well, sometimes) when I say, "No." I have never really tried to be consistent and train a 14-month-old, but now I think differently.

I could go on, but if you are interested, just visit the website and read the online book. I liked "The Book" section to the left better than the "Other Materials" section.

Not My Child Monday

Here we go again...

When I asked my 4-year-old why her baby brother was crying, she did not reply matter-of-factly, "He yelled at me so I had to spank him."


The other day when we were explaining to our children what an "heir" was and that if we were to die, they would inherit all our belongings, my 6-year-old did not proceed to ask, "And the candy?" referring to the candy I had just received for my birthday.


It was not my 1-year-old who got his hand stuck on a sticky spider trap that he saw in the basement just a few days ago. And then he certainly did not try to "bite" off the trap, getting spider body parts stuck in his mouth. That would be gross. And we certainly don't have giant spiders in our basement requiring us to lay out traps. No, that would be awful.

No, life is never boring around here.

And no, I wouldn't have it any other way.

How will adoption affect your biological children?

I have talked to several people in the midst of an adoption right now and I have heard the following concern: "I'm concerned about how adopting a child will affect our biological children." I had the same doubts before we adopted. Will we have enough time for all the kids? Will adopting rob my biological kids?

Now that we've had Ava home for over a year, it is obvious that adoption has been so good for our other children. They have accepted Ava as a sibling from the beginning. They have learned that a child on the other side of the earth can be a sibling just like a child born in our family. And they have learned that another sibling is a blessing, whether biological or adopted. Their capacity to love has grown. The fact that we adopted, and 4 other close friends of ours have adopted (or are in the adoption process), in addition to the families in our Nanjing group, our kids think adoption is just normal for Christians. And shouldn't they think this? Shouldn't this be the way it is?

So, fellow adoptive moms, the following blog post really spoke to me, and I hope it speaks to you, too.

The following is directly quoted from the blog, Blessings from Ethiopia.... This family has 3 biological children and have adopted 6 more children from Ethiopia:

A Greater Capacity
Every day I receive emails from potential adoptive parents and post-adoptive families asking for advice, support, feedback, direction, and information regarding adoption. It thrills us to be able to point people in the right direction, advise families in the process, and pray for those who are preparing to live out James 1:27. This is the ministry God has given to us, and we are stoked. Our vision is to serve as full-time adoption advocates, and we are making real steps in that direction. Soon we will be operating through our We Have Room web site, which will act as a resource for those stepping into the adoption world, those who are just getting their feet wet, and those who are swimming in the post-adoption sea, sometimes raging and sometimes of glee. We feel honored to be able to be used even in just a small way and to let others know, "Hey, we've been there."One email that I receive a few times every week sounds a little something like this: "Heidi and Kirk, Your story has been very encouraging to us, as we also feel led to adopt older kids or a sibling group, but I am just very scared of what it might do to our family, how it will affect our current kids, and what kind of short- and long-term implications it might have. Can you tell me how your biological kids adjusted to being knocked out of their birth order? How did your oldest feel about no longer being the oldest? I'm afraid I'm going to be taking away from them something that is legitimately theirs and I'm scared of what that will do to their emotions/personality/self-worth/security/what-have-you. I'm afraid they will feel ripped off."To each and every person reading this post who knows the concrete conviction of being called to care for the older orphans yet also bears the weight of the accompanying thoughts of fear, I want you to know this...Please hear me loud and clear, as we have now SIX times over displaced our "original" kids' birth order:You are NOT taking anything AWAY from your birth children. Instead, what you are doing is imparting to them something eternal: You are expanding their capacity to love. Think about that for a minute before you read anything else. How do you plan to teach your child to love others unconditionally and in total compassion without giving them the opportunity to do so? I'm telling you now, You CAN'T.My biological children have a greater capacity of love in their hearts than I could ever impart to them by just giving them a safe Christianity, by maintaining their status quo, by simply modeling "godliness" as parents (as if that's the end-all be-all for a Christian family). My kids...all of them...have lived out self-sacrifice and understand (because they live it!) that laying down one's life does not steal anything from us. That is the lie of the devil, who would have us believe that sacrifice is not worth it; that there is nothing for us in return; that God doesn't really mean what He says when He said to His followers that "anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. [Because] Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:38-39).Do you really believe that? That whoever LOSES his life for Jesus's sake, for Jesus the Orphan's sake, will actually FIND it? Ask yourself honestly. Because you might answer YES prematurely. I have no doubt that you might believe it for yourself, but do you really believe it for your children, too? That if they "lose" their "place" in the family that Jesus will instead impart to them LIFE? REAL life???What is birth order anyway but just a sequence of how your child came to you? Let's not make an idol of that sequence. Because that's what it becomes...an IDOL. Something standing in the way of you taking up the Cross to follow Him, to BE JESUS in this world. Let's not place a value on birth order that God did not intend to be there.Consider the older orphan. Consider the sibling groups. Consider the ones who are not often considered.And whatever you do on your adoption journey, PLEASE I beg you, do NOT steal from your children the opportunity for their love capacity to be expanded. Do not deny them the true gift of learning early in life that "My life is not my own."When your feisty and spunky 7-year-old biological daughter, who is now the middle child of 9 after being knocked down to #5 from #2, pleads "Please, Mommy, Please!!! I want another sister my age!!! Can we PLEASE adopt again?!!," your heart will beat out of your chest, not just because you can envision another child saved, but because you know that your daughter will NEVER EVER live a limited, safe Christianity. She won't even know what that means. In fact, she won't even have the capacity do so.And all because you didn't limit her, either. You didn't limit God.Give your children the gift of the greater capacity to love. Let it ripple out into the future. Let it change the world.

Nanjing Playgroup Time!

This time Sammy, home from China for just 2 weeks, was able to join us. From left are Mylee, Ava, Sammy, and Clara. Millie couldn't make it, and Elsa is in the hospital:(

I didn't bring my camera, so check out Mandi's blog and Amy's blog for the rest of the pictures!

All 9 of my parents' grandkids

Here they are! Between my sister, my brother, and me, we have 9 kiddos (and yes, over half of them are mine)!

You have to click the photo to enlarge to see all the cute faces.